DOWRY

              ON THE ROOFTOP

                               BY-KOMAL TIWARI

And how many times we loose all our hope and just give up, give up not to start anew but to do nothing and just bear everything in cry and silence .

 I was going through this same disaster when in the evening I ran to my rooftop with tears brimming my eyes...... I wanted to cry ,cry out and  loud .
So there I was in the corner of my rooftop crying uncontrollably and suddenly I heard a voice " HEY WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"

I was too  stunned to speak anything I was caught in my most worst state and that too by a boy !!!!
 It took me minutes to  collect myself , I wiped away my tears, stood up facing the neighboring roof, and there he was standing with all the calmness and composure existing in the whole world.
I saw him for the first time, but was sure he isn't my neighbor's son.
Answering his question I replied,
 Ah ..... Its nothing I am not crying! 
Had it been the normal me i would have lashed out at him for intruding my privacy but I reacted calmly!!!

I am Aariv and I am  sorry to for interrupting like that but you shouldn't cry this much ...you should face it boldly...I noded my head in agreement, 
my heart and mind both were at ease now I was feeling  better talking to him.
I turned around announcing  I was going downstairs and suddenly I felt a soft grip on my wrist ! turning back I asked  "WHY?" 
He  said you didn't tell me your name and that's not fair.....
Sevya it is I replied with my heart racing at tremendous speed due to his grip on my wrist.
I am going downstairs now  bye , I said
OK Sevya let's meet again, I will be here for quite some days, see you around , he said.

I didn't wanted to but I came back to my hellish life . But there was something which kept my heart warm, maybe it was due to Aariv , meeting him tomorrow was my newest happiness I guess. 
Next day in the evening I went upstairs and there he was already waiting for me.
We shared smiles, sat besides each other .
Sevya ! why were you crying that badly yesterday there was so much pain in you ,I saw it... he asked. 
Aah huh... life you know ..everyone have their struggles and I am going through mine... I replied. 
OK you if u don't want to share , its ok ,but don't ever again cry like that, You have a new friend now every time you feel low you should come and  talk to me, I will take away all your pain , he said.
I smiled in reply,
You are my neighbor's relative ? I asked
 Yes am at my maternal Aunt's , he said 
I hope it clears all your doubts Miss Sevya, he continued!
Yes it was good meeting you, I said 
And  like that we  kept talking to each other till it got dark and I panicked to rush downstairs. 
Ahh, how sweet those moments are when I talk to him, how comfortable that  time becomes I wish I could keep talking to him forever thinking this slept that day! 

Days went by and we kept meeting at the rooftop & gradually exchanged contact number and Instagram ids . We became really close to each other we loved each other's company.
After a few days he went back to his place and we kept  talking through calls and chats .
 I was a howling river and he was like a calm sea , he never fails to vanish my insecurities and worries away . 

We were  such a  match for each other but  we were still friends.... the gender stereotype in me wasn't allowing me to ask him out in first place, and he.... why was he taking so much of time to ask me out !! I was frowning thinking all this.

We kept meeting each other and knowing each other better and better, life was never this comforting to me.
 The day when we were sitting in a garden I told him about mental health that i get  panic attacks at times and also have anxiety issues and that's why I was crying on the rooftop that day!
He immediately hugged me and that day I melted in his shoulders crying uncontrollably.
Sevya ! I promise I will  help you overcome this , I will take away all your pain , cupping my face in his hands ,he said.
The peace and relief I experienced that day is incomparable to anything in the whole world. 
Still I was annoyed when will he confess to me! Doesn't he love me ! Am I a fool.... getting gaga over him!!!

One fine day my panic attack  reoccurred and I started shaking wanting to cry out loud and I rushed to my old destination ! My rooftop , cuffing my face between my knees I  was crying and hoping Aariv was around, so that he could console me ....
When suddenly I felt someone back-hugging me ,the scent and touch, was so familiar  that I didn't turn around to see I knew it was Aariv! I was shocked seeing him there at that time.....
You don't trust me at all Sevya ! didn't I tell you to share it with me, when you are feeling low, he said in a bit hard voice. 
But I kept crying... seeing my crying face his anger vanished, with tears in his eyes he said!! come on Sevya stop crying my heart is going to burst due the pain I can't see you crying stop Sevya.....
 

I was shocked hearing all this because this was the first time he was expressing his feelings about me this openly , my crying subdued ,I was looking into his eyes....and he pulled me toward himself for a hug. 
Ah! this warmth..... this scent.. this my home thinking this I closed my eyes in his arms .
He softly kissed my cheeks that were already red due to my crying and now they were even red after his kiss, like they were burning and I was melting!
Be mine Sevya! let's be together for a long long time .....he said softy in my ear !
Will you? he asked 
Yes, yes  I will, I replied with tearsin my eyes.. and I hugged him even tighter.

Today lying in his lap when  I remember these moments I just can't stop gushing over him! from a random meetup at the rooftop to being husband and wife , how beautifully we are living our lives! I Just can't stop being happy about this .
From getting panic attacks to being a happy hearted and jolly person , how beautifully he shaped my life. 

I can't stop thinking of it and loving him with all my heart.